Blurb: My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you’ll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrock, about the invasion, and the future. But it’s too late. You touched the book. You’re in the game. You’re under the eye. The only defence is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part about the bratwurst. Why? You’ll just have to trust me. Unfortunately for us, if you make the right choice, we’ll have a much harder time explaining how to fight off the otherwordly invasion currently threatening to enslave humanity. I’m sorry to have involved you in this, I really am. But as you read about these terrible events and the very dark epoch the world is about to enter as a result, it is crucial you keep one thing in mind: NONE OF THIS IS MY FAULT…
One of David Wong’s books is called What the Hell Did I Just Read, and I’m guessing he took that title from a review of John Dies at the End!
This book was written by someone completely insane, or a genius, or both. The strong language is probably the least of the trigger warnings required here.
This is more chaotic than the most far-fetched of Robert Rankin’s far-fetched fiction (TM?!), and quite darkly gory too, with people exploding and dissolving all over the place.
I have no real idea what happened with the plot, the characters were odd and unnerving, and the twists at the end had me checking our soy sauce in case it was me rather than the book that had lost it.
Also I don’t know why I ended up loving David and John (especially John), but I do. I would definitely play computer games in a shed with either of them if the world ended.
If you love Wright and Pegg’s Cornetto Trilogy of films (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz, The World’s End) then this is 100% the book for you. If you want the world to continue to make sense, step slowly away from this one!
The man walked past me and stopped, observing the blood running down my neck.
“Your injury. Let us tend to it.” He looked out through the open doorway and silently gestured to someone out there. “Our world,” he said, “is far more advanced than yours. For reasons you’ll understand shortly.”
A thin, bony, naked woman entered the room, carrying two small, white kittens. She sat one of the fluffy cats in my lap and stuffed the other down my shirt. She turned and left.
“There,” said the large man. “The kittens will make your sad go away.”
– David Wong, John Dies at the End
You can buy John Dies at the End on Amazon but I will not be held responsible for the consequences, caveat emptor and all that. If a small phial or a knowing dog arrives with the package…RUN!